4 Reasons to ditch the judgers in your life

I’m good, thanks.

I really tire of hearing people cast judgment on others about things that don’t concern them. Everything from our politics, to our beliefs, and even our lifestyle seems to be a topic of scrutiny. What happened to being free to do whatever we want, within the constructs of our laws of course, and living our own lives? I have no idea. But I’m here to say, back off.

Are people bored, grandstanding, or just nosy? I guess any or all of those could be the answer, but if you’re one of those people out there that also feel like their lives are the subject of some outside force of judgment, let’s go through this and get clear on why you shouldn’t give it another thought. For real.

You don’t live in a glass house, do you?

If you don’t bother anyone else or get all up in someone’s business about how they live, then you should have a reasonable expectation of the same consideration. Am I right? Yes. It’s not always the case, but just settle into the idea that you don’t bother anyone, therefore, you need not worry about their assessment of you. Even if you get it, remember, it’s not about you. They are obviously trying to make a point about their stand on something, and to that, you can just say, “Got it”! And move on.

Variety should be the spice of life

I’m old enough to remember a time when people could have widely varying opinions, enjoy a spirited debate or conversation, then get back to their lives-no harm done. Though it doesn’t seem to be the case anymore, you should still try to do your part. It’s disappointing how varied opinions can no longer be commonplace, and that eye-rolling, disdain, and insults have taken their place. Regardless, you don’t have to play along.

Let those haters be, and as long as you know that it’s ok to be different, and have the maturity to understand the value of your differences, carry on. It’s not something you need to stress over.

Sore losers and judgers are cut from the same cloth

Much like how a sore loser can ruin a fun game night, judgers have ruined civil conversation. We all know that person who gets so testy over the rules of a game that when the ornery person in your group bends the rules, it creates so much tension that everyone needs to awkwardly make up little jokes to lighten the mood.

Yeah, that guy. Well, judgers share DNA with that guy.

They both have the same arrogant idea that there is only one right way to do things and that any other way is wrong.

We all know that isn’t true, at least not in most things. Recognizing that the judger is basically like a sore loser seems to significantly reduce how much their opinion matters. Face it, some people just can’t bend, so they choose instead to judge, berate a point, and get their feathers ruffled if others deviate. Maybe it feeds something in them to stand in judgment. Just knowing that is part of who they are should take the burden off of you and keep you from getting worked up.

Surely they have something better to do

Sadly, maybe they don’t have anything better to do than troll around and look for something to complain or express a judgment about. Again, this isn’t your problem, but if it happens, think about the idea that this poor soul may not have anything else to do. It’s hard to believe anyone would want to spend their life being irritated or attacking other opinions, beliefs, or ideas, but it happens.

So sad. 

Get a life, you need to think to yourself, and don’t let it get under your skin. And if they choose to stay in this misery, have a little empathy. They may have nothing else in their life that stimulates them.

It’s not easy dealing with the judgers out there as of late, and it’s probably a work in progress learning to let their poisonous arrows whiz by you, but you should plan to brace yourself for this new-ish phenomenon. It seems as though they’re here to stay. Now that you know some of the shortcomings that may cause the judgers to be so inflexible and irritable, it might help you reframe that behavior when it rears its head.

Personally, I have always been one to keep my feelings about anything “inflammatory” to myself around the judgers, because I don’t have time for all that. You can choose to handle these blessed souls any way you choose, but for me, this seems to work best. If you like the confrontation, and you can let negative comments or insults roll off your back, then carry on and speak your mind. However, not every topic is ripe for every group of people, so know your audience and be selective, if you want to stay in peace.

In the meantime, I’ve decided to request that the judgers out there spare me their indignance on whatever topic they feel the need to jam down my throat. Good for you that you feel strongly about your thing, but you don’t need to assess me, oh wise one.

I’m good, thanks.