How I cured my resting bitch face.
Can you imagine how hard this was? In my continual quest to become a badass at midlife, I have had to do some serious looking into the proverbial mirror, and admittedly, I don’t always like what I see there.
For one thing, I’ve perfected the human Teflon coating, and boy does it show. In fact, I’m so good at it, that people literally repel away from me in a store aisle for fear that I may go off on them for blocking the cereal I need.
Now, I’m not one for small talk or niceties, but that’s not to say that I’m unkind at all. In fact, almost everyone I know comments the opposite of that about me. Keywords: “everyone I know”. Therein lies the problem. If you just saw me in line at a coffee shop or at a store, you’d be thinking “100%, she’s a bitch”.
So on the road to becoming a real badass at this midlife thing, I have uncovered some stunning revelations about bitchery, and I just have to share, because they might help you too.
Talking to strangers is safe 99.9% of the time
Yep, good ole “don’t talk to strangers”. There it is. The foundation for every antisocial cell in my body. Not all people respond to that life mantra the same way, in fact, many people have never met a stranger...who are those people?
The point is, when you open yourself up to talking to strangers every day, and not “excuse me, I was in line” type of talking, but “how’s your day so far?” kind of thing, you’d be surprised what can happen.
Not only have you taken your guard down, interacted positively with another human, relieved your own stress by getting out of your own damn head for a second, but also, you could have made their day too.
Who knows, maybe they were on the verge of a complete breakdown and your sweet little voice restored their faith in humanity. It could happen.
So do yourself a favor. Get out of your own thoughts, look up at faces with a smile, and when you feel the urge to fire out a conversation starter, just do it. Great things can happen, and you won’t look like a bitch....that’s for sure.
Allowing someone to convince you of something doesn’t mean you have permanently compromised your personal core values.
Boy, do I ever hate anyone trying to convince me of something. It feels like such a violation of my entire being and I’m suddenly in full-blown defense mode. Well, that’s bitchy-not to mention, a little bit insecure and immature. I know that now.
So if you’re a die-hard Dunkin’ fan, and Madge is a Starbucks ride or die, don’t waste your precious time fighting her explanation of why it’s better. Who actually cares? And even if you gave in a little and just agreed to disagree, then no one would have to feel like they gave up anything...God forbid.
So if you catch yourself digging those pretty little heels in on every topic, you might be acting-and looking- like a bitch.
Not everyone’s out to get you
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you, if you knew how seldom they actually did”- Eleanor Roosevelt
Wow. Did that one ever take some time to hit home. I’ve done/not done so many things in my life because of those damn people and what they would think or say. What a giant waste of energy, not to mention how that fear can put you at risk of never finding your true purpose for fear of church chatter or girlfriend gossip.
Acting as if you know exactly why someone did a thing, and usually concluding that it was somehow related to you, is missing the mark by a mile, friend. People don’t care that much, and you assuming they do is really self-absorbed behavior.
Thankfully everyone is somewhat self-absorbed, so there’s very little chance you and your controversial shenanigans will come up, but if they do, it won’t be for long.
Relax. That’s pretty much it...just relax.
Bitchy people are usually uptight. Am I right? So a simple step one, if you don’t want to be that bitchy one in your friend group, is just to relax. Whenever you’re triggered by something before you allow it to take root and begin steering the direction of the rest of your day, try to find the root of it and work like hell to outsmart that annoying little fire starter.
Replace that root thought with something happy or positive, sing a song, whatever it takes. Mindful breathing, stretching, walking, laughing...these things we all need to do more of so we can live a more balanced and relaxed life.
Being relaxed starts by committing to soothing habits and making them the norm in your life. You’ll be much more likely to look, and actually be, more calm and happy.
I don’t pretend to have fully mastered the neutralization of my bitch face, I mean after all, it's likely a part of my DNA if I’m gonna be honest.
Botox helped, I’m not gonna lie.
I accomplished what I needed to for myself. I realized that I don’t want to look like a bitch everywhere I go, and I also needed to start changing some bitchy-behavior-inducing actions.
Life is better when you talk to strangers, smile at people, remain flexible on your opinions, and are not paranoid that someone is always trying to “get you”.
We are all too isolated in society, and it has only gotten worse as of late. People need people to sustain a happy life. Human interaction can literally save someone’s life, we’ve all heard the stories.
At the very least, it can improve your mood and everyone’s day-not to mention the fact that you won’t have to carry around that face.
I think it’s worth it.
🎉 P.S. Why not start a new morning routine in Midlife! Daily Gratitude Journaling and Meditating with your coffee is a
great way to start the day!