The best thing I’ve done for my social anxiety…is embrace it.

It’s not easy being an introvert who lives an extrovert's life. The emotional whiplash that can happen is more than I can take sometimes.

But I’ve realized that the time for fighting is over now.

I think I have mild social anxiety. It’s not clinically diagnosed so I’m sure it’s more so a level of shyness or social scene discomfort, and even though the rest of the world may not know it, because I do a masterful job of chattering right through it, it’s there.

But I’ve decided recently that it’s fine to be a little socially anxious, and honestly, if it shows, so be it. I’ve accepted it.

If you fall into that camp, here’s why it’s a good idea to just let it flow.

You’re Unique

Enough of thinking there is a mold or model of what the proper social interaction behaviors are. You are a person that has unique gifts and talents and blending in is the last thing you should want to do. Don’t fear standing out, embrace it.

Anxious Looks Like Quiet and Mysterious

More and more these days, society is becoming obsessed with the quiet, mysterious, creative introverts in the world. It’s about time. You’ve probably spent years sitting by watching all the air being sucked out of the room and now finally the world has said, “oh, wait…who’s the wallflower? I wonder what she’s all about.” Yep, you’re a woman of intrigue now.

It’s Easier

The work of fitting in is so tiring. Not to mention so junior high. This life of yours isn’t meant for you to waste time trying to fit into some box. It’s too much work, and frankly, you probably already have a full-time job. Just embrace exactly who you are and breathe right into that. Make it easy, not hard.

It’s Relaxing

Granted, you probably don’t really want to hit every event, but if you’re being yourself when you go, it will become a source of relaxation rather than anxiety. Believe in your amazing uniqueness and just relax. Ask questions of others to help break the ice, and let the conversation flow.

When you’re committed to being exactly who you are, you can spend your energy choosing a new shirt or adding an interesting accessory to your outfit, journaling or meditating before you go to get in a calm and relaxed state, or even just taking some time to get some air or exercise ahead of time.

You have nothing to prepare or stress over.

Getting to a certain place in life gives you permission to be whoever the heck you want to be. You’ve actually always had the ability to do that, it just takes some people longer than others. (Ahem…). And that’s fine.

Truth is, it’s actually pretty cool to hang back and let everyone else fill the space in a room and just sit back and observe. You should feel no obligation to “rise up” to some level of interacting that is deemed to be the norm. You get to decide where and how you’ll fit into the scene.

No rules, so, therefore, no pressure. I’ve spent the better part of my life avoiding or painfully participating in the social scenes that cause my blood to run cold, I realize now that it’s because I felt like there were “rules of conduct” that needed to be followed.

I was wrong.

The worst thing to do is to count yourself out of life by avoiding social situations that cause discomfort. Although it’s tempting to sit things out, challenge yourself to do things that increase your tolerance so you can improve your quality of life.

Say yes to invitations that you would normally decline-Bring someone with you that helps keep you “you” if that helps. That will make it much easier and build the social interaction muscle.

Set some personal goals-Take it slow, but put yourself on a track of increasing your socialization and set a goal for the month or year. Having a positive target will keep you from becoming anxious and steer you to pursuing a goal mode.

Journal about it-It will help you better identify how you’re feeling and what things trigger discomfort. Working through any small things that can impact your mindset will help you for the next time.

Look good so you feel good-Up your shoe game or get a new outfit or accessory that makes you feel good. Make sure it’s comfortable first and foremost, but also that it expresses a little-known part of you. It’s interesting and a good conversation starter too.

The process of becoming super smooth in a social situation may take some time, but you didn’t get here overnight, so it won’t change overnight either. The journey to becoming calmer, and embracing your inner social butterfly is made up of small steps.

Realize that you’re not trying to change anything about yourself, but rather just getting comfortable with who you are so there’s nothing to feel awkward or insecure about.

Once you get to that place, you’ll wonder why you waited so long.

The scene needs you, just the way you are.