The Dr. Phil question you may not like

You’ve heard him say it so many times. Someone makes an indignant statement about what they are doing in their life, and you know it’s coming.

“How’s that workin’ for ya?”.

There it is. The question that causes reality to get smashed right in their face demanding the answer they clearly don’t want to give.

“Not great” is usually the response in some form.

It’s Dr. Phil's go-to query.

It’s not like you haven’t asked yourself that question, but when faced with it, the walls are forced to come down. You have to cut the crap and admit that your great plan, goal, or good idea just isn’t working out.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, and one that most of us would rather not be forced to wash down.

You may not like to be questioned about the success or viability of something you’re doing, especially if it seems slightly off track, but it needs to be asked.

The reason this cringy question ruffles your feathers is that you may be questioning your decision or goals yourself. And that’s ok. But avoiding asking yourself about it isn’t the answer.

In fact, you may want to consider checking in with your goals often, so you can avoid dreading the question.

Keep looking at what you’ve done to stay inspired

Checking in with things often can help keep you focused so the goal can stay fresh and top of mind.

“If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it” — Peter Drucker

Things could change so checking in might help you pivot

Life changes so maybe your goal will have to as well. This will keep you aligned and on track, but also get you excited again.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change”— Charles Darwin

Stay kind to yourself, no self-doubt

You may reach what you’re shooting for quickly or it may happen slowly in stages. Regardless of the timeline, stay focused and don’t let yourself drift into old self-defeating thoughts. Give yourself a break and don’t give up. Checking in will help keep you on track.

“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you’re worth the trip” — Glen Beck

Stop comparing yourself to others

It’s not an acceptable measure of the success of your goal. Comparison is a trap and its evil intent is to keep you stuck and in perpetual doubt. Good or bad, avoid comparing yourself to others at all costs.

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Don’t forget to take care of yourself

Creative hobbies, a massage, self-care, or having some social time can be a great release for you to reset your mindset and give yourself a break. If you stay in go-mode all day every day, you’ll not only burn out, but you won’t be giving yourself a fair shot at success. Take time to relax and refresh.

“With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.” — Susan Weiss Berry

Phone a friend

Sometimes bouncing ideas or progress off of a friend, loved one, or even a life coach or therapist can be very helpful. It’s easy to become hard on yourself, especially when things move slowly. Reaching out to get help, advice, or objective opinions can reveal things you may not have seen on your own.

“Asking for and receiving help is a way to prime the pump of generosity.” — Jay Perry

How’s that workin’ for ya?” isn’t a question that should make your blood run cold. Rather, think of it as a valuable self-evaluation and accountability tool, and an opportunity to toot your own horn.

Morning and mid-day check-ins

You can check in daily by journaling how you’re feeling, sorting your plans for the day, and working through any stressful thoughts that may have carried over. This will get you in a clearer frame of mind to forge ahead.

Throughout the day, it may even be helpful to check in with yourself if you feel yourself getting stressed or agitated. Take a walk, step away from your work and do a little self-inquiry. It can be very helpful.

You: What’s going on with me right now?

Answer: I’m feeling overwhelmed with work right now. Everyone is adding things to my plate.

You: What can I do about it?

Talk out a list of options. Maybe prioritize what needs to be done today, and move everything else to later in the week? Is there a way someone could help me with the smaller project?

This can be helpful in clearing your mind and coming up with a workable solution before things get out of hand or your entire day gets ruined.

Weekly or monthly check-in

Checking in weekly or monthly is a good time frame to be able to track your progress. Use a calendar and document any changes and keep your expectations reasonable. Remember, not all change is quantifiable and things may be changing in ways that you’re not able to see. So don’t let yourself only look at what you can measure. Small changes may be invisible but they’re an important part of the bigger plan.

Real growth happens when you stay checked in with what you want, what you’re doing, and how you’re feeling. Not when you’re in your own little world avoiding the questions.

So…“how’s that workin’ for ya? Let anyone and everyone ask away without worry.

Not to spoil the ending, but everything is gonna be okay. — unknown