5 chilling signs you’ve become way too desensitized
The good news is it’s not too late to start feeling things again
A bird in the middle of Chicago won’t even flinch at a blaring firetruck zooming by, but in the middle of a small town, it’s a different story.
It’s nature to adapt to life's circumstances, thereby becoming a little desensitized over time.
While in some cases it’s not that big of a deal, other times, it can lead to bigger and more important things losing their impact, and that can be a problem.
Are you a person who may be shrinking emotionally, becoming a victim of desensitization?
Here’s how you know:
You’re unaffected by big things
Whether it’s an event to celebrate or a local tragedy, you remain right on track with the actions of your day. You take the standard few seconds to assess the incident and move right back into what you were doing.
Has your threshold for what warrants a heartfelt response limited only to things that happen to you or those in your immediate circle?
If you find yourself barely lingering on big news, good or bad, you might be becoming desensitized.
The solve: When you hear anything that you think should garner some kind of emotion that you’re not able to access, think about doing these things:
Ask questions. When you allow your curiosity into the situation, it will keep you engaged in the moment, so you’re not quickly pivoting back to yourself and your to-do list.
Stay in the listening zone. Once you start to get more information, stay quiet, and just learn to listen. Allowing some silence will inspire more reflection and that’s a good thing.
Have empathy. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes and imagining the situation from their point of view for a few minutes will help you flex that feeling muscle and make sure that your heart is still pumping and not actually made of stone.
You have an overabundance
For those blessed souls who have abundant lives, it can become very easy to lose appreciation for the small things and emotionally disconnect from them.
Having everything you could possibly want isn’t a bad thing, especially if you’ve worked very hard and stayed diligent in the pursuit of your personal life goals. The problem is when that is all you’ve been doing.
If you’ve spent a good deal of your time building the life you want, it’s possible that you’ve had to put some blinders on, even temporarily, to stay focused.
But if those blinders never come off, you’re likely to miss a lot of things happening in the peripheral areas of your life.
Think about shifting into a more cruise control mode where you can stay on track but also have a little bit of room to look around at what you may be missing.
You avoid the deep conversations
Maybe you think you’re just too busy or don’t have time for anyone’s drama, but when you avoid talking about things that may inspire some emotions, you’re definitely on the road to a hardened heart.
Whether you need to unload a burden or emotional issue or someone asks for you to be their sounding board, avoiding this altogether is a sign that you’re uncomfortable with going there.
If you’ve been doing this for a while, it might take some time to settle back into being an open book, but consider this:
“The more you open your heart to others, the more your life becomes joyful.”
― Debasish Mridha
Whether you need to open yourself up and share or be there for someone else, you will be enriching your life.
Life is meant to be shared not isolated.
You avoid people
As an introvert and homebody, I can attest to the fact that avoiding people isn’t always a sign of desensitization. But if you frequently say “no” to things that involve getting together with others, you may be working on putting your heart on ice.
There is a certain amount of responsibility that comes with interacting with others. One thing you want to aim for is to make a situation or conversation better. If you just can’t bring yourself to do that, it may be time to assess what’s going on.
If you find being around people and socialization draining, thereby avoiding it altogether, remember that you can always start the conversation by talking about something that energizes you to get over the initial hump.
Ask questions when others chime in and allow a deeper conversation to unfold.
Curiosity is the best way to open your mind and heart to others and how they feel about things and can lead you to feel more connected as well.
You shift the blame
If you’re desensitized, things are never your fault or your doing.
Being called out because you didn’t pull your weight, help, or get involved can be a painful reality for someone who feels like they’re just minding their own business.
When you try to deflect your shortcomings, you may be minimizing what others are trying to tell you. That could be from a detachment to the emotion, or that you see many things as whining or complaining.
The fact is, you don’t live in a bubble and your actions impact others in many ways every single day.
If you have road rage and your impulsive braking leads to a fender bender, you can’t really believe that “if people wouldn’t drive like idiots this wouldn’t have happened.” True or not, you did what you did, and it’s time to look in the mirror.
To be someone who often touts that things are a result of others could be a sign that you’re losing the ability to put yourself in others’ shoes.
“The greatest tragedy for any human being is going through their entire lives believing the only perspective that matters is their own.” — Doug Baldwin
It can be easy to drift into these behaviors over time, and without realizing it you could not only be hardening your precious heart but also be doing harm to the best relationships in your life.
Take stock every now and then at how you react to circumstances in your life and see if you’re inadvertently becoming desensitized to things that actually matter.
The sirens might be headed for you. Do you hear them?